Big J versus The Big Fella

Last week Big J was playing Cuponk with little success, when I heard him saying, "I wish I could get really good at playing Cuponk", fair enough, and then I heard him add, "Amen," and realised he was praying for better Cuponk skills! I laughed to myself as he continued listing things he wished for in the same way: "I wish... Amen."

We have not really talked to Big J about God, not being particularly religious or going to church ourselves, so I guessed he'd just heard prayers at school and thought he'd try them out to see if they worked.

Yesterday, we were all stuck at home after it snowed so much that the schools closed, so we went to the Sports Centre with a makeshift sledge. It started out as a lot of fun; we all had a go sliding down the slopes, having snow fights and generally having a good time. Then Big J started to get really cold and wanted to go home. His insistance that we go home NOW turned into anger at the snow and a declaration that he hated it...

"I hate snow, I really hate it....

...and I hate God, 'cos he made snow. That's just stupid. Why did he make such a stupid thing? He's an idiot. It's rubbish. He just made a load of rubbish...

...I hate the whole earth. He thinks it's good, but it's rubbish...

...I hate God. He's a poopy pants. He poos in his nappy. Anyway, I don't believe in him any more..

...How can he get up into space anyway without a rocket or something? I don't think he exists...

...And I hate Jesus. I hate God and Jesus. They are both rubbish..."

So, that seems pretty clear then. My son is not about to devote his life to God, apparently.

He did say today that he does actually like snow again now. I didn't dare ask what he thought of God today! I think I'll wait till he's playing Cuponk again!

Imagine if...

Out for my daily brisk walk with my Ipod, I like to use the time to lose myself in thought. So a few days ago while out walking, having already reflected on the week's events, and feeling pretty good about myself for doing lots of exercise and for having lost 17lb so far, I started to have a bit of fun with my imagination (a bit dangerous if you are me!). I started to compile a list in my head:

Imagine if...

... while walking along this busy road full of rush hour traffic, I started singing along loudly to my Ipod and dancing along the road to weaving in and out of the cars.

... I squeezed the bum of that guy who pretended not to see me as I walked past him.

... I walked into one of these big posh houses, went into the living room, put on the TV, kicked off my shoes and sat down with my feet up on the sofa.

And so the list goes on. I'm sure I must have been grinning to myself as I walked along thinking these mad things. I am also sure other people have these ideas too. So, if you have something to add to my ' imagine if...' list, please leave a comment.

UPDATE: JANUARY 2011

I recently spoke to a psychotherapist about these thoughts. She said everyone has crazy thoughts that then make them think, "Where did that thought come from." So, I now don't feel so crazy after all and will continue to have fun with imagination! Hmmm..... I wonder what would happen if....

Feeling like a Loser

A horrible day's supply a few weeks ago at a school which should not remain nameless, but will because I'm the soul of discretion (!), during which I was called a 'fat witch' and was told by the same 'delightful' girl that I have a fat a**e and eat too many cakes, prompted me to not only decline more offers of supply work in that part of that school, but also to realize that I was sick of hearing the comments (some coming from no other than my own 5 year old son!) about my size or weight.

We'd been watching 'Fat Families' with Steve Miller on Sky 1 and although I would never consider myself to be in the same situation as most of the families features in the program, what Steve Miller said each week just seemed common sense. His basic advice to everyone was to "Eat less, move more".

So, I started on Sunday 14th March by going out for walk in the New Forest with the family. Since then I have just taken Steve's advice. I have cut down my portion sizes, stopped eating sweets, chocolates, crisps etc. reduced the amount of bread I eat and most importantly I have exercised every day for at least 30 minutes. I lost 5lb in the first week and 2lb the second week and 3lb so far this week. The best part is that it hasn't cost lots of money. I don't go to a gym. I just go out walking. I have tried to build it into the day, so instead of driving, I park the car and walk. The only thing I have bought is a pair of black trainers so that I can walk comfortably to work without looking silly in work clothes and white trainers!

Easter is going to be tough, but I am allowing myself an Easter egg and have made sure I have some healthy treats in, like fruit I don't usually buy and expensive fruit juices.

I don't feel like I'm missing out, but I do feel much better in myself for losing weight, being able to get into clothes that didn't fit before and am feeling so much healthier for all the exercise I'm doing.