Happy New Year

It's easy to get melancholy at this time of year. Looking back on the year behind us, we often think of the sad times and hope that next year will bring happier times. Don't we do that every year? So, I decided that I would write a post to celebrate the great things that have happened this year. 

Don't get me wrong, I have had bad times this year. I've experienced things which have made me cry, shout, scream and want to break things or just to run away from it all. Facebook has soaked up most of that (that dreaded FB word again). I've lost special people this year and it'll take time to feel better about that. But, this is a happy post...

1. I was diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, this is a good thing. Imagine having lived for 39 years feeling different and not understanding why; trying to control things which were out of your control. How frustrating would that be? Well, it was very frustrating. Now I have a licence to be who I am. I have a piece of paper that says it's okay to be this way. I am still not allowed to call out in class or jump on the tables, but maybe that's being saved for 2014!




2. I watched with growing pride as my son, Big J, learnt to play the guitar. He completely loses himself in his guitar playing. It takes him to another place. When he's playing, I can't help but sit and watch.

3. For the first time that I can remember, Little Z took her practice for her Grade 4 ballet exam very seriously. She was self motivated and it was amazing to watch. This quiet girl, who can, at times, struggle with challenges Aspergers Syndrome brings, came to life as she danced around the living room. She stood tall, she was graceful and elegant. She looked confident. It wasn't until the results came through saying she'd passed with a Merit, that I realised just how uncertain she had been about whether she had passed at all.

4. Larry has run just over 1000 miles this year. He completed his first marathon as well as many other competitive races. He raised an amazing £614 for Macmillan Cancer Support through taking part in the Great South Run in October. For someone who is always willing to put himself out to help other people, It makes me happy to see him doing something for himself that he enjoys.

5. I sat with tears in my eyes as Big J decided not to go in to his Brown Belt karate grading, because he would be the only one in there. I remember wanting so much for him to prove to himself that he was capable; blaming myself for not instilling in this boy the confidence he needed to go in there and give it his best shot, no matter whether he passed or failed. I then paced up and down, taking deep breaths and not taking my eyes off the door, after he'd finally decided to go in. Then hugging him so tightly when he came through the doors to the whistles, cheers, and claps of the black belts, his Sempai and Sensei. Definitely one to remember.

6. I have lost almost 3 stone this year. That's 41 pounds! People who know me and are reading this may be a little confused. I started running (using the Wii Fit + package and a trampete) in September, just 30 mins every day, and since then have just reached my 2 stone mark. However, I had already lost almost a stone earlier in the year when I had tried Paul McKenna's Hypnotic Gastric Band book & CD (It was great, but I just didn't stick to it. I'd still highly recommend it to anyone.) I have rediscovered my old wardrobe (or at least some of it!)



7. I got a bit of my life back, by taking time for myself. I went out with my friend instead of trailing around after school clubs or going home to tidy the house. I still went to watch my kids do their activities, but not every single time. I haven't neglected the housework, but it sometimes has to wait an extra day. No big deal.




8. Larry and I actually got to go out without the children. We just went shopping, but we went by ourselves. We enjoyed each other's company. We had full conversations without having to break off to ask the children to stop doing something or listen to their interruptions. We didn't realise how much we'd missed it, until we had it back.


We spent time with family and friends, baked pretzels, saw lots of rhinos, went camping in North Wales, played rounders, fooled around, felt lucky to have missed the falling trees during the October storms, went to the beach, played in the snow (not on the same day, or course), spent too much time on Minecraft, went exploring in the woods, climbed waterfalls and more...

 These are just a few of the amazing times I have had this year. Life is good. Sometimes we just have to focus on those good bits.

May 2014 bring all of you many good times too.

Avoiding Desolation

For one reason or another, yesterday did not get off to a great start. I had been angry the previous afternoon about the way I had been treated by the jumped up, just-out-of-pre-school salesmen (yes, 'men'. There were 2 of them!) in the O2 shop, when collecting my new mobile phone. Having then got even more cross with myself for the way I had reacted and at my failure to control my reaction, I had gone to bed grumpy with the world.

I had expected to wake up yesterday feeling fresh and ready to go for a run, as usual, but instead woke up with what I can only describe as an 'emotional hangover'. No alcohol involved! I busied myself with nothing in particular; a couple of phone calls, Facebook (what to do when there's nothing to do!) ending up here, on my Blog.

So, Larry came up with a plan to take us all to the cinema. It would cheer me up and would give us all a treat before the end of the holidays. Fantastic idea! Little Z (who is now 14 and probably will not approve of being called 'Little' for much longer, seeing as she is now about 5'7" and towers above me!) and I have been keen to see the new Hunger Games Movie, 'Catching Fire' having read and really enjoyed all the books.

"I thought we'd go to see 'The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug'," he said excitedly. "You'll like that. You enjoyed the first one." He prompted, having seen my blank expression as I tried to choose an appropriate response, rather that the one I was thinking. My suggestion that Little Z and I could go to see Catching Fire, while Larry and Big J went to see The Desolation of Smaug, was met with the (quite reasonable) point that that would not be 'quality family time', especially as Catching Fire is showing at a different cinema to The Desolation of Smaug. I really couldn't (reasonably) argue.

We all thoroughly enjoyed the film. Big J and I even managed to sit still (sort of) for the 3 hours (including ads and trailers). Now, Little Z and I must hatch a plan to see Catching Fire before the end of the holidays.

Can't Weight...

I've been blogging (admittedly with long periods of absence every now and then) for about 8 years now. I must have blogged several times about being overweight or trying to lose weight. Well, here I go again...

Back in August, I had got so frustrated with being overweight and not having any nice clothes that would fit. Every Saturday I take Big J to his karate class, where I then sit and watch / chat with other parents for 2 hours. Yes, I know, 2 hours is a very long time to sit and talk, but if you know me, then you know that talking for 2 hours is no great challenge for me. However, I decided to download an app for my phone (it's called Map My Walk... guess what it does!) and go walking in the local area for 45 mins. I felt better for it, but it wasn't enough to shift any weight. Quite honestly, I look back now and think, "What the hell was I expecting? I was eating far more that I needed and one session of brisk walking for 45 mins every week is not enough to even sustain my weight let alone lose any.

I met a guy... No, no, no, it's not one of those kind of stories. I already have my own amazing guy (I will not crowbar him in here, he deserves a whole blog just for himself). I met a guy at karate. He told me his story of how he'd lost so much weight over the past 3 years and taken up running and cycling. I was inspired. Now, I am quite a stubborn person and will not always take other people's advice, especially if I am being told what to do... (again, this is another post entirely), but the more I listened, the more it made sense. He showed me an app on his phone called Couch to 5k. For those not familiar with it, it gets you off the couch and teaches you how to run 5k and, as the name suggests, it is for people who don't run at all, but usually sit around on the couch. Okay, this is beginning to sound like I liked it. I hated it! I started on the treadmill and was always watching the clock to see how long it was till I could get off. That's not the attitude I needed to be able to sustain it for the length of time I needed to lose the 8+ stone I had to get rid of.

The thing is, I was not a 'sit on the couch' kind of person, and I wasn't new to running either, so I decided to go back to what I knew best. The Nintendo Wii Fit. Out came the trampete (mini trampoline for running on the spot). As soon as i was back on there, I felt completely different. I enjoyed it, which meant that getting up a little earlier than usual was not so difficult. I would usually get up at 6.15 every day anyway, so getting up at 5.50 just meant that I had lost 25 mins sleep (hardly noticeable), had to hurry up getting ready for work (not that difficult), and had to make sure the children got themselves ready (they are 9 and 14 - it's not a lot to ask!).

So, since September I have been getting up at 5.50 am almost every day and doing 30 minutes running. The Wii Fit times me and records the distance I run. I know you could argue that the distance isn't accurate, after all, I am running on the spot, but it is consistent and so I have a benchmark. To start with I was running about 6k in 30 mins. Now, I run an average of 7.5k in that time.

I only set myself the goal of losing 1lb per week and have exceeded that. I now find it easier to listen to my body signals telling me that I am hungry or that I am full. My attitude towards food and exercise has changed completely. In the past I have found it hard to stay motivated, but I am kept motivated by the fact that I am steadily losing weight and enjoying the exercise as well as enjoying rediscovering my old wardrobe.

I have lost 2 stone (28 lb) since 4th September 2013. I aim to lose at least another 4 stone in 2014. I'm lucky to have amazing friends and family who, despite thinking I'm mad, give me the support and encouragement I need.